Do You Know What It's Like?
by lifesashow13
Summary: Begins right after the Connect 3 performance. What if Mitchie had gotten a chance to explain herself to Shane? Will he still forgive her? Smitchie. Rated T for mild swearing and a dangerous situation. Please read Author's Note. First Camp Rock fic. R&R.


**A/N: This is my first Camp Rock story, although not my first story altogether. I got this idea in my head while watching Camp Rock for about the third time, and I just couldn't get the idea out of my head, so I wrote it. I wanted to know what would happen if Mitchie had gotten a chance to explain, and I found it kind of hard to believe that Shane would forgive her just because she's the girl with the voice. Now it's not bothering me anymore! ;) You'll figure out where it starts, I promise. Please read and review!**

**Pairings: Smitchie- I tried to get some Naitlyn in there but I couldn't figure out how :(**

**Warnings: Rated T for mild swearing and a slightly dangerous situation**

**Disclaimer: As much as I wish I did, I don't own Camp Rock, its characters or the people who play them. I also don't own Connect 3 or the Jonas Brothers, but I would love to, especially Kevin and Nick.**

_Do You Know What It's Like?_

**MITCHIE POV**

Not only had Tess exposed me to everyone, she had done it in one of the cruelest ways imaginable. I wanted nothing more than to crawl under a rock and die. But I couldn't, because I could only think of one person, the one I knew to be standing right behind me. Shane. He hid behind his mask of being a jerk to avoid the pain of people lying to him for the fame. He had let me see who he really was, and Tess had just destroyed that trust. I turned to him, silently willing him to let me explain.

"Shane…" I started, but he cut me off.

"You were lying to me all summer," he accused. So much for explanations.

"Yes, but I-,"

"You know, I'm so used to people pretending around me."

"No, I-,"

"I really thought you were different. But you're just like everyone else." He was nearly in tears. "You wanted to be friends with Shane Gray, not me. Trick's on me, huh?"

"I was just trying to-,"

"Save it for your interview with Pop Informer Magazine. I know I gave you an earful." He turned to leave but I was suddenly angry. None of these spoiled rich kids know what it was like to be me. Shane included. He needed to know, and then maybe he would understand. I grabbed his arm, preventing him from leaving. He turned back to me angrily but I stood my ground.

"You don't have any idea what it's like to be invisible, Shane. To be a faceless nobody. You will never know how that feels, because you're right. You're Shane Gray, pop superstar," I said, my voice shaking slightly from anger. "You don't know what it's like to have so few friends that your parents worry. You will never understand the reality of being a social outcast. You don't know what it's like to be so deathly shy that most people have never heard you say more than two words." His eyes had softened a little.

"Mitchie-,"

"I'm not finished. You have everything, Shane Gray, while most people don't even know I exist. You don't know what that's like. So yes, I lied to get out of that torture. You would have done the same thing, were you in my position. I wanted to be someone, even if it was only for a few weeks. Ad right now, if I could do it again I would." I kept going. "Just for the record, though, I _never _wanted to be friends with Shane Gray. I saw him on the TV and all I could think about was how much of an ignorant jackass he was. You proved me wrong. And I never pretended around you. You were one of the few I could be real around." I stopped, realizing that I had not only just bared my soul to him, but to the entire camp. I took a shaky step back and then turned and ran. I heard Shane call my name but I couldn't go back. Not now. I ran all the way back to the cabin I would now share with my mom, crawled into my bed and cried. I pulled the blankets over my head as I heard the door open. Someone sat on the bed beside me and I prayed that it wasn't Shane. _Anyone but him._ Whoever it was pulled the covers away from my face. I kept my eyes firmly shut, afraid to look up at the person.

"Mitchie, it's Caitlyn," she said and I slowly opened my eyes. I saw Caitlyn looking down at me sorrowfully. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. Tess was such a bitch." She gathered me up into a hug and let me cry into her shoulder. After a while my tears finally began to lessen and I pulled back to look at Caitlyn, wiping my eyes in the process.

"I'm sorry for crying all over you, Caitlyn. You're a better friend than I deserve."

"Don't ever say that again," she snapped. "I will always be here for you. Besides, you had a reason for what you did, it's not like you intended to hurt anyone." I sighed.

"I know, but I still did it. Shane probably hates me," I said, then let out a weak laugh. "Heck, the entire camp probably hates me."

"I don't hate you," Caitlyn said. "Neither do Barron, Sander or Lola. And Shane, well, I don't think he hates you either. Just give him time to think."

"Thank you, Caitlyn," I said softly.

"Anytime." She eventually left and I sorted things out with my mom when she came back. I didn't go back to Tess' cabin to get my stuff, leaving that for tomorrow so that I could try to go in when they weren't there. I never wanted to face Tess, or Peggy or Ella for that matter, not ever after what Tess did. I would love to say I crashed and slept soundly that night, but I didn't. I tossed and turned for an hour before getting up and leaving the cabin. Camper weren't supposed to be out at night, but I didn't care anymore. What else could Brown do to me? Even if he sent me home, at least I would be away from here. I walked around the edge of the lake, stopping a spot where there was about a six foot drop to the water and sat down, letting my legs dangle over the edge. I looked out over the water, watching the moon reflect off of the ripples. It was a beautiful night. I saw my face reflected in the water and laughed bitterly. The old Mitchie was back, except now she looked even more broken. I touched my own cheek, watching my reflection. Unattractive, shy, clumsy, self-conscious, pathetic Mitchie was back and now she was here to stay. I threw a rock at the reflection and got up as a splash marred the surface of the glassy water.

As I stood, I suddenly lost my balance and fell into the freezing water. I sank under the surface, contemplating whether I should resurface. Ending my miserable, pathetic life seemed like an enticing possibility. But I realized that it wouldn't be fair to my parents, Caitlyn, or Sierra. I couldn't go without saying a proper goodbye, or at least writing one. My lungs screamed for oxygen as I pushed myself to the surface and gulped in air. I swam tiredly to the shore and sat at the water's edge, wrapping my arms around my knees and laying my head down. I was freezing, but I was too tired to care. Tears ran down my already wet face, mixing with the lake water. I didn't even move when someone called my name because frankly, I didn't care who it was. I was so numb that I didn't feel the cold anymore, or the wet. I didn't feel it when the person touched my arm hesitantly. I slowly came to my senses, however, when the person shook me gently.

"Mitchie? C'mon, Mitchie, say something." I wearily realized it was Shane and I lifted my head. "Mitchie?" Oh God, he was probably here to yell at me some more. I pushed myself shakily off the ground and tried to run from him. "Oh no you don't, not this time, Mitchie." I only got a few feet away when I felt arms wrap around my waist from behind, holding me back. I fought against him with the little strength I had left.

"Let me go, Shane," I said through the fresh tears running down my face.

"No." I fought until I just couldn't any more. I sank to my knees, giving up the fight. Finally the day caught up to me and I was just so tired and sick of being alive that I passed out.

**SHANE POV**

Mitchie's words had been bothering me ever since she ran. I couldn't even settle down enough to write a song because I was just so preoccupied with her and the pain I had seen flowing from her eyes as she finally let the truth about herself out all at once. I got up to take a walk around the lake, hoping it would clear my head. I had no such luck as I saw a girl crawl out of the water and collapse at the edge. Moving closer, I realized that it was Mitchie. I touched her arm and called her name but got no response, which scared me more than anything. I shook her and finally she reacted, but not in the way I had hoped.

She tried to run from me again, but she was weak and I was able to catch her easily. She fought against my grip but I refused to let her go. I wasn't going to let her get away again. Then I started to panic because she passed out. I checked her wrist for a pulse, which was weak but still there. Her skin was ice cold. I picked her up bridal style and carried her back to my cabin. I needed to warm her up and fast if I wanted her to live. I got into the cabin and grabbed a pair of flannel pajama pants and a tshirt for her to put on. I blushed as I realized that I would have to change her if she didn't wake up. Lucky for me, she stirred and looked up at me. I don't think she realized who I was.

"Mitchie, I need you to change into these clothes, okay?" I said softly, handing her the shirt and pants. She nodded sleepily and went into the bathroom. I hovered near the door, trying to hear if she fell or passed out again. I was still a little angry with her for lying to me, but I couldn't stand it if anything happened to her. Finally the door opened and I had to catch her as her knees buckled. I helped her over to the bed and covered her in blankets.

"Thank you, Shane," she murmured, and then was asleep. I fell asleep beside the bed soon after, holding her cold hand in mine for dear life.

**MITCHIE POV**

The next thing I remember after passing out by the lake was waking up in Shane's cabin the next morning, wearing some of his clothes, which confused me. I could vaguely hear Shane outside the cabin talking to Brown. I strained to hear their conversation as I sat up slightly.

"Shane, what the hell is this?" Brown asked angrily.

"Look, I found her last night as she was dragging herself out of the lake. She was freezing and then she passed out. I couldn't just leave her there."

"Then why is she wearing your clothes?"

"She was soaked! Besides, she woke up enough to change herself, so it's not like I did it," Shane fired back. Brown sighed. "Look, I'm not leaving her, so you can cancel my classes or whatever, but I'm not leaving her."

"Alright, I suppose you have a good reason this time," Brown laughed. "What exactly happened last night?" I could tell he was referring to the incident after the Connect 3 performance.

"Nothing," Shane answered immediately.

"It didn't look like nothing," Brown replied. "You looked crushed. Pummeled. Absolutely destroyed."

"I got it, Uncle Brown," Shane cut in. "I don't know. I was so angry with her, but the reason behind it…I don't know anymore. If being who she is really feels like that, then maybe she really does have a good reason for doing what she did."

"Go figure it out, Shane," Brown said. "You've got your day off." Shane thanked him and came back into the cabin, rushing over to the bed when he saw that I was awake.

"Mitchie! How are you feeling?"

"Like I got hit by a bus, and then thrown off a cliff," I answered, drawing a small smile from Shane, followed by an awkward silence. I avoided meeting Shane's eyes.

"Was it true?"

"What?"

"All those things you said yesterday. Were they true?" I nodded, still not looking at him. "Then I'm sorry." That got me to look at him.

"For what? I'm the one who lied all summer," I said. "And God knows I'm sorry I did that."

"I know. But I should have let you explain before I said what I did," he replied. He was looking at me like he did that day by the lake, after he played Gotta Find You for me.

"You're giving me that look again," I said self-consciously, looking away again. He pulled my chin so that I had to look at him.

"Yeah, except this time I know why." Before I could reply he kissed me, and I was kissing him back.

After that, you all know what happens. Tess framed Caitlyn and I for stealing her bracelet, but thanks to Brown we still performed at Final Jam. Peggy and Ella blew off Tess and Peggy ended up winning Final Jam. Tess apologized to everyone after her near-spill during her performance. Shane found out I was the girl with the voice. And I got my happily ever after.

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